“Well, guys, I’m having an odd day. This morning I got an email from NBC asking what I accomplished last week.” — JIMMY FALLON

“Yep, they need to respond with five accomplishments from the last week. Federal workers wrote back: ‘I received this email, I opened this email, I read this email, I laughed at this email, and I deleted this email.’” — JIMMY FALLON

“He followed up by tweeting, ‘Failure to respond will be taken as a resignation.’ Now, obviously, the only proper email response to that is: ‘What did I do last week? Your mom, your mom, your mom, your mom, and your mom.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“Of course, the workers were furious, mostly about getting a work email on a Saturday.” — JIMMY FALLON