Friedman attributes many of her passions and habits to an unusual upbringing. She has described her childhood as feral, and said it has informed many of her artistic and career choices. She was one of four children born to a violinist father who left the family around the time she was born and a pianist mother whom she has described as neglectful. The siblings, often left to fend for themselves, created their own theater troupe, which they called the Sonia Friedman Show. (She was the youngest.)
“My life was, from the earliest memory, telling stories,” she said. “That’s how we survived.”
School was a struggle, and at one point Friedman was expelled for truancy. By 13, she had left home for a free, and freewheeling, boarding school, and by 16 she was working full-time; with the help of her sister Maria, who was then a burgeoning actress, she found gigs at fringe shows and pub stages while taking night classes. She worked in a variety of crew capacities — most memorably, she was a follow-spot operator on a production of Stoppard’s “Jumpers,” but was fired for missing a cue.
At drama school, where she studied stage management, a fellow student was a daughter of Laurence Olivier, which led her, at 19, to a job interview with Olivier and his wife Joan Plowright; they hired her for a production at the Edinburgh fringe festival, and she was on her way. A big break came when the National Theater hired her to work with artists including Harold Pinter, who took her under his wing.
In time, she wanted more. “I got bored,” she said. “I became far more fascinated by the whole workings of the room.”
By then, it was the late 1980s, and the AIDS crisis was rampaging through the theater community. She threw herself into fund-raising, visiting hospitals, helping to run Shop Assistance, which enlisted celebrities to work in shops to generate money for AIDS charities. And then, after getting her first producing experiences making small-scale touring work for the National, she took another leap, cofounding a theater company called Out of Joint. One thing led to another, and the Ambassador Theater Group, a large British theater company, asked her to run one of its venues.